i know I’ve been quiet over here. I’ve mostly been sharing my thoughts over on instagram. Do people even still write blogs? I got bored of mine and deleted the blasted thing. Now I’m back with a new layout and colors and stuff. Do we like?
If you’re new here, hi, I’m Lissie. I’m fat, I’m disabled, and I like to make things, write things, wear things… basically I like things. I see myself as a collector of sorts. Yes, I collect material items (and a lot of them), but its more than that. i collect experiences. Memories. Moments.
I just had my 25th birthday. The thought crossed my mind that being 25, I should have collected more of them by now. I should be living out on my own. I should be thinking about having kids with my partner. I should have traveled some, gone to college, have a ”real” job. I should be thinking about shredding “excess” weight before my wedding. I should be out to brunch with a gaggle of gal pals. I should be something I’m not.
The thing is though, I’ve lived differently. I’ve lived a few different lives by now. I got sober before i turned 21. I taught myself to sew at 23. I got engaged that year too. I started becoming interested in creating, learning the ins and outs of influencing. I learned i was losing my vision and my body was fighting against me, I started immunosuppressants during the pandemic. I learned to accept and tolerate and care for and love my fat, disabled body. I learned who my real friends were. I learned that theres so, so much more to life than mimosas and homework and raising a family (cats will do, thanks).
My 2022 resolution was to learn more about myself, but when I think about it, thats all I’ve ever done.